YEAH RIGHT. Well, sometimes for about 30 seconds, maybe. I’ll be going about my day, doing my usual thing, when I realize oh yeah! I have a tiny human growing inside of me! Mostly I still can’t believe it. I definitely feel pregnant – I have all the classic symptoms (still tired and nauseous most of the time), but no ones knows unless I tell them. At 11 weeks, not showing yet, and I’ve barely gained any weight (a whole pound, whoop whoop). I could swear though, looking down at my belly today, that I’m starting to “show”… it’s definitely rounder and I can’t suck it in much. I’ve also resorted to using a hair elastic to hold my pants together (by looping it through the button hole and around the button). Classy, I know, but it’s just so much more comfortable and I’m not sure I’m ready for maternity clothes yet. My instincts tell me I should shop SOON so that I have them when I need them, rather than wait until I’m desperate for new pants that fit.
I have, however, already bought a couple of new bras. That was absolutely necessary, as I’ve already gone up a cup size. Sounds awesome, huh? Not when you were already a D cup. Now I’m wearing a 34 DD. What the heck size am I gonna have to get in September, after I have the baby and the “milk comes in?” I’m scared. Seriously! I’ve always been so self conscious of my breasts. When I was skinny and running I got all the way down to a C cup. That was perfect. I was so happy with my body then. But that body couldn’t ovulate and get pregnant, so…what can you do. I’m sure there are many women out there that would LOVE to have my dilemma. Trust me, you can have them! I’ve always wanted petite, perky little boobs. I guess that is not in the cards for me, barring surgery, so I’ve gotta deal with it. Can’t really complain, as I wanted more than anything in the world to get pregnant and have a baby, and here I am…porn star boobs and all.
ANYWAY, enough about that. As for other symptoms: the tiredness isn’t bad as long as I get enough sleep. I actually came home and took a nap the other day, which is so unlike me. The nausea, which has been pretty much constant since week 7, is still dragging me down. I’ve been able to eat but most of the time, and all I want to eat is carbs, carbs, carbs. And cheese. And lately, peanut butter is amazing. I had some cheese and peanut butter crackers yesterday that really hit the spot. So that covers all three of my cravings. You could even call it the trifecta of pregnancy cravings. You know what I’m talking about – those crackers that come from vending machines that are an unnatural shade of orange, and are definitely loaded with lots of good artificial colors and chemicals that don’t belong in food. I would normally not eat this sort of garbage (well, not all the time), but my banana that I had brought for a snack was just not appealing, at all. So junk food wins out. But I was good today and ate some actually nutritious food in addition to carbo loading: cantaloupe earlier, and yogurt, and I had a salad with my grilled cheese sandwich for dinner. The salad was, of course, covered with parmesan cheese. How have I not gained 50 pounds already? I guess I am not as nauseous tonight. I’m really hoping it goes away soon, but every time I think that it’s getting better it comes back with a vengeance. And let me tell you, working in the microbiology lab is pretty much incompatible with the first trimester of pregnancy. If you weren’t already nauseous, the smells of E. coli and Citrobacter will help you with that.
I realize this post is all over the place, but I haven’t posted in nearly a month. I didn’t even post 2 weeks ago after my first OB appointment. It went well, and I even got to see my baby via ultrasound (on the belly! Not in the vag!) and heard the heartbeat (pumping away at 174 bpm…go baby go!) Other than that it was pretty boring. I will see her about every 4 weeks for now, probably until the last couple months. I have my NT (nuchal translucency) scan scheduled for Monday. My OB didn’t even suggest that I have one – I was the one to bring it up. She said that they usually only do them if there is a high risk of chromosomal abnormalities (like Down’s Syndrome). I am not yet 35, the magical “advanced maternal age,” but 34 is close enough in my book. So she said we could schedule the NT scan if it would give me “peace of mind.” I suppose that it would only do so if it turns out to be normal. I’m not even sure why I’m doing it. My insurance may not even cover it. But I’m just excited for another chance to see my baby! And this time the baby will actually look like a baby, and not a tiny blob of tissue with a heartbeat. I’m just trying to focus on that and not worry about what the results of the scan will be.
I hope that I can be a little better about updating this blog, now that I am (hopefully) getting close to coming out of the fog of sickness and exhaustion that has kept me down for the past 5 weeks!